This is where I pretend that I have a clue why I write this blog (or have this blog, and theoretically could write on it from time to time).

ugly duckling cartoon drawing

The description I just deleted said that it focusses employment from the perspective of having Asperger’s Syndrome, and over its lifetime, I’ve repeatedly tried to use it as a tool to try to push myself into the workforce … specifying systems, goals, and statements to lead myself onto a productive path in employment or freelance work.

I do find the world of work interesting. Not so much the earning money part (which I feel strangely disconnected and powerless about), but the making things happen and big picture parts. The scale and speed of ideas, innovations and goods on the move across the globe, the ever more elaborate human connectivity, landscapes developing, cityscapes growing and merging, wilderness encroached, the dynamic ecology of trade, organisations, cultures, regulatory frameworks, and the high speed technological evolution… is impressive, daunting and scary. Workplaces offer tiny glimpses into the details of how some of all that happens on a day to day basis; mostly with no overview but with some views into the organisation of materials, money, logistics, connections, people, cultures, and life styles. That is interesting.

During my lifetime I’ve held 30+ roles mostly in menial, casual, temporary, part time, and short lived jobs, hereunder in agriculture, aged and handicap care, assembly line work, bartender, face to face interviews, and one full time office job… basically trying out whatever I could get. I’ve struggled in every job, but also found it interesting to peek into subcultures and logistical dimensions of society I wouldn’t otherwise have known. A bit like a spy or a sociologist infiltrating alien cultures and organisations.

My work challenges seem to be with people aspects of workplaces, as well as some sensory aspects, and also job search and interview aspects, and getting out of the house aspects, along with anxiety, general world-pessimism, & periodic weird health issues (maybe Anxiety is doing that). Also competing interests (I admit it). This was not an exhaustive list of aspects.

I had a quick skim through the old posts full of goals & schemes & projects & New Year’s Objectives, and find them extremely annoying. They are a testament to the futility of trying so hard to be interested in things that I felt I ought to be into, because maybe there was an occupational niche there – as a freelance worker or whatever, as anything Productive just like society needs me to be. Fuck it. I’m just going to let go of that mental whip, not because the problem has been solved, but because the attitude drains too much energy, is depressing, and isn’t effective.

As of 2017, I’m currently studying for a certificate in companion animal services/dog training, part time, for the most part online. It takes a couple of years to complete. The official objective (although I’m sick of that word) is to eventually run my own dog training business. This does not free me from needing work in the meanwhile, but it sounds better than “unemployed”.

I probably don’t fit onto the career shelf called “dog trainer” either. I love dogs and animal behaviour, but can see already how I don’t engage well with some people aspects of it face to face. I don’t quite “get” many of those people, the dog owners and dog colleagues, although I’m a devoted dog owner myself. I hope I can create some sort of niche for myself in the future. I have some visions for what I’d like to do with it, combining different services, and in a perfect world linking up some of my prior education (such as my commerce degree). There is a vague dreamy outline of some sort of elaborate idea running in the back of my mind, like a movie (for years), and the list of add-on ideas keeps growing, although it could all just crumble & wither in the corrosive daylight of the real world and all its varied requirements.

As a fun fact, I’m a Scandinavian conquerer immigrant in Australia. English is not my first language, so if I write something unignorably odd, please keep the possibility open that I may not know precisely what I’m saying on that occasion.

Besides not really writing this blog, I also don’t write the canine-focused blog Canine Saga, which relates to the Twitter account @CanineSaga (which is actually surprisingly active).

Here on this blog, I will probably continue to not write about mainly introspective perspectives related to living with Asperger syndrome.
PS. This is an anonymous blog. If you know me, please do not mention/hint/sing/broadcast/whistle my real name. Thank you